Anger Can be Disabling

A group of children of mixed ages came into the gymnasium for A Touch of Understanding. One boy, who was bigger than the others, sat off to the side. The other children seemed to leave a space between themselves and Daniel (name changed).

The first portion of our presentation is open discussion about the fact that, whether society would label us disabled or not, we all have strengths and challenges. This breaks down the wall of “us” and “them” in the minds of the participants. The children begin to look inside themselves and realize that they have things in which they excel and things with which they struggle. Most importantly, they realize this is true for each of their peers as well.

I asked Daniel’s class, “What is hard for you? It might be here at school, at home, in your neighborhood, or just within yourself?” Children told of problems such as losing loved ones, academic difficulty, tense family and social relationships. Daniel sat quietly until there was a pause, and he raised his hand. He simply said, “Fighting.” I asked if he got into lots of fights. He nodded.

Daniel’s teacher came up to me following the program and thanked me. She said it was the first time Daniel admitted he had a problem with fighting. She confided in me that it was a real problem for the teachers and students as well, which could be seen by the seating arrangements. Daniel’s behavior had ostracized him. His teacher felt that his admission during A Touch of Understanding was the first step in correcting the problem and mending relationships.

An Unexpected Benefit

A Little Girl Joins the ATOU Team

Occasionally we have the privilege of meeting a child who so clearly and obviously takes hold of the opportunity A Touch of Understanding offers and “runs with it.” This time it was Emily (name changed), a little eight-year old girl in a second grade classroom in Placer County.

It was during the demonstration portion of our activity period, when I explained the adaptive equipment: artificial arms and legs, Braille slates and styluses, wheelchairs, crutches, canes and walkers. Emily had come into the room using her walker, so I asked if she would like to share anything with her class. I wish you could have seen her shy smile as she proudly struggled to stand (all 3′ of her) in front of 40 of her peers.

She began in a tiny voice to tell of her complicated birth; the wonderful doctors; her therapy three times a week; how lucky she is; and how, one day, if she works hard enough, she will walk without her walker. I asked if she would like to answer questions from the children. She then assumed the “teacher” role, calling on each child by name and answering their many thoughtful questions.

A transformation occurred on the playground the following week. Although the students in Emily’s classroom understood her challenges and necessary accommodations, the children from the other classes did not. Lunchtime and recess had been difficult. Teachers reported that following A Touch of Understanding, they saw something they had never seen before. Emily was in line to play tetherball. (Tetherball is of utmost importance to the children at this school.) The teachers watched to see what would happen. Emily stood with her walker, inching up as each child before her finished his/her turn. When it came time for Emily to approach the pole, she walked up, knelt down, and pushed her walker away. Her opponent, walked up and without question, knelt down and began to play. No questions asked, no problems from the opponent or the children waiting in line for their turn. Emily, who had been on the outside, was now “in.”

Emily joined our ATOU team for that day to educate her peers. They were able to use equipment that previously had frightened them and to talk with and question people who use this equipment daily. Those students learned to look beyond the disability and see the person, this time that person was a little eight-year old girl named Emily.

A High School Student

A nine-year old boy with cerebral palsy sat in his wheelchair alone outside a classroom door. Unable to speak, unable to move, he waited. He waited for minutes, for hours. He had been removed from his classroom by his teacher. His infraction? Disrupting the class with his drooling. His fellow classmates helped him by wiping his chin. His teacher found this distracting. She removed him. This boy is now a sophomore in a Placer County high school.

His mother had tears in her eyes when I told her that I would try to arrange A Touch of Understanding presentation at his school. Through the years, she had spoken to his classmates, talked with his teachers, pleaded with administrators. “Take time to get to know my son. Don’t just see his disability.” But her efforts had been disappointing and frustrating.

This time would be different. We invited this boy and his parents to join us as part of the ATOU team the day we visited his school. Instead of being seen as a crippled body being wheeled around campus, this young man became part of a team of accomplished individuals, who happen to have disabilities.

Mike, who lost both hands in a race car accident, told the students of regularly flying aerobatic planes using his two myoelectric hands. Another volunteer spoke of her school years, career in journalism and raising her family while dealing with the challenges of epilepsy. Along with these volunteers, this young boy and his family told of his abilities, interests, goals and sense of humor. Rather than appearing as parents asking for special consideration for their son’s limitations, they were a family telling of their challenges, accomplishments, joys and hope.

During the question and answer period that followed, one student, surprised by what she heard, said, “You mean he can understand us?” (This made me wonder what unkind words he had heard spoken by classmates who thought he did not understand.)

The hands-on learning experiences of the activity centers (wheelchairs, artificial limbs, braces, crutches, canes, walkers, Braille, and mirror-writing) combined with the interaction with other speakers changed the attitudes of these high school students.

With A Touch of Understanding providing the platform, this young man became a “real person” to his schoolmates.